For further resources, go to the Encounters and Foundations section.
In your blog, identify the main points made by Banneker, how Jefferson answers them, and how is this "Self-Evident" truth reflected in the modern world (not just the U.S.). Respond to 2 peers. 400-500 words.
For further resources, go to the Encounters and Foundations section.
34 Comments
Trent W.
9/23/2014 11:03:42 pm
Some of the important parts that Banneker is stating in his letter to Jefferson bring up a huge hole in the Declaration of Independence. One of the things I found is “general prejudice and prepossession, which is so prevalent in the world against those of my color.” When he says this in his letter he is talking about the effects it has on the African people and that it applies only to the white people and the black do not get and fair treatment. Another on I have found is “we have long been considered rather as brutish then human,” this is saying the Africans are treated more like animals and treated like animals for they are only good for brute force but they do not take in to consideration that the African are just as much human as the white people are. Lastly I found in his letter that is a main point is “we are all of the same family, and stand in the same relation to him.” In this statement he is saying that all people where created by the same god so why must we be treated differently than others because of our skin color.
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Maria L.
9/25/2014 10:58:48 pm
Good job on making clearer paragraphs! :) Also this time you are doing a much better job on not just listing claims although you do have the occasional "Another one I have found is..."
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Ms. M
9/28/2014 04:52:49 am
Good selection of quotes. Work on connecting quotes to a specific idea/claim.
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Jasmin Church
9/24/2014 01:27:03 am
Banneker and Jefferson Blogs
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Maria L.
9/26/2014 12:11:48 am
Was Banneker trying to become the Secretary of State or was he writing TO the Secretary of State to get his help? Your opening sentence "Banneker wrote the letter to show that he attempted to make secretary of State," confused me.
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Ms. M
9/28/2014 04:54:12 am
In order to improve flow, read the text aloud and edit before putting up on the web. You have the evidence--the path of analysis needs a clearer direction.
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Dylan N
9/24/2014 06:12:34 pm
In the letters that were written between Thomas Jefferson and Banneker several complaints about how different races were treated were discussed. Banneker’s letter to Jefferson was a long thought out list of complaints about how the black community of the new united states were treated. Though Jefferson responded to Banneker’s letter it seemed as though there wasn’t going to be any action on his part. Jefferson agreed that something needed to be changed however so he responded, it seemed, working around actual action.
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Hannah S.
9/26/2014 02:51:49 am
You have a good structure to your essay, and it flowed nicely. You may wanna use more quotes next time, however you used your quotes in a way that they supported your blog, and agreed with what you were stating.
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Alberto L.
9/26/2014 06:19:32 am
Your essay is verry good, but for next time your should state the "main points" a bit stronger.
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Michael Y
9/28/2014 02:48:26 am
You missed an important fact in Mr. Jefferson's letter. He sent the Almanac to the Secretary of the Academy of Sciences at Paris because he felt it was important to share this great document written by a black man. He stated in his letter that he wanted a good system commenced to raise the condition of life for blacks.
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Ms. M
9/28/2014 04:58:15 am
Good structure. Build in specific quotes for the two main body paragraphs to give specific analysis of Banneker's complaints and Jefferson's response.
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Anthony Doerfer
9/25/2014 03:10:33 am
Banneker & Jefferson Blog
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Hannah S.
9/26/2014 02:50:15 am
You have a good structure to your essay, and good quotes, however you still need to stop using personal pronouns in your essay. But you had a good organization of your essay. You might wanna give more support after your quotes though, instead of ending with them.
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Ms. M
9/28/2014 05:02:37 am
Add line between paragraphs to improve readability. Good selection of quotes. Use three specific powerful choices which highlight Banneker's complaints and Jefferson's hypocrisy. Strong tone. Omit "I"-you have the tone that already expresses your opinion.
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Hannah S.
9/26/2014 02:48:45 am
Benjamin Banneker was a free black man who contacted Thomas Jefferson to have him considering giving blacks more rights when it came to the Constitution. Jefferson however, never states if he will help the African Americans.
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Ms. M
9/28/2014 05:04:13 am
You have the structure. Give more space to your analysis of the evidence when you use it. Clear final insight.
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Michael Y
9/28/2014 05:07:08 am
You have some good points in your post. However, equating same sex marriages with racial discrimination is not an issue of inequality. Those who have lived through racial discrimination and especially slavery would definitely not view it as equal. Also, Jefferson did try to further the abilities of blacks by sending the almanac to the Academy of Sciences at Paris. He did not need to do that but wanted to do so to show Banneker's good work.
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Seren G
9/26/2014 03:46:51 am
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Ms. M
9/28/2014 05:07:11 am
Excellent evidence which reflects the key components of the prompt. Set up quotes by connecting to idea/claim. Nice examination of the different tones of the letters.
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Maria L.
9/26/2014 03:49:00 am
In his letter to Thomas Jefferson on August 19, 1791, Benjamin Banneker requested Jefferson’s help in his work on equal and fair rights for black slaves and citizens in the United States. He addresses Jefferson’s status and capability to help out by stating, “it is the indispensible duty of those who maintain themselves the rights of human nature, and who possess the obligations of Christianity to extend their power and influence the relief of every part of the human race, from whatever burden or oppression they may unjustly labor under.”
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Ms. M
9/28/2014 05:10:03 am
Good selection of quotes. Sometimes you miss opportunities to develop analysis of the quotes. You are picking up on the three themes--the ideals, the reality, and the proof of equality in the almanac, but need to dive into the analysis further.
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Alberto L.
9/26/2014 06:07:37 am
Banneker and Jefferson Blog
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Ms. M
9/28/2014 05:14:15 am
Watch Benjamin substituted for Jefferson in intro. Work on setting up the claims rather than Banneker in the act of making an argument or providing evidence. Build in more specific quotes from Jefferson to show how he acknowledges/avoids Banneker's accusations. Strong final insight.
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Ida-Kristine H. Aukan
9/28/2014 11:27:16 pm
I really liked the flow in your essay. Your claims and evidence are very clear. I liked that you had a lot of quotes describing certain issues. You argueed very well for both cases, and found evidence to support it. Overall you did very well.
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Alberto L.
9/26/2014 06:37:23 am
Your essay was good, and I like the fact that you actually explain the quotes you include. The only things that you should consider for next time is to separate your paragraphs, which will make it easier to read, and also try expanding your ending paragraph a bit more. (With more details or explanation for instance)
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Ida-Kristine H. Aukan
9/26/2014 07:30:35 am
Banneker who is a free african american fights for the equal rights of all men, not just the «white». Banneker points out the flaws in The Declaration Of Independence, by saying; «you should be found guilty of that most criminal act," which is referring to the fact that Jefferson said that he wanted equal rights for all men, but which ended up with being just equal rights for all «white men». One of the main subjects Banneker brings forward in his case is that the issue of african americans not being treated as «all men» has been a problem for a really long time by saying; «we are a race of beings, who have long labored under the abuse and censure of the world». Basically he is talking about the fact that the african americans has had to be and is slaves to others, under really bad working and living conditions. Banneker ends his letter by saying; «we are all just people». That we all have the same relationship to god, and we are all the same so why shouldn't the african americans have the same rights as everyone else? Why shouldn't the african americans be treated just as the white man is treated?
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Ms. M
9/28/2014 05:16:54 am
You have a good selection of evidence. You have the tone of both letter writers. Push your final insight to discuss more about the modern global world. Correct " for all quotes.
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Michael Y
9/28/2014 04:53:56 am
Benjamin Banneker was a free Negro living in Philadelphia in the 1790's. He was involved in Astronomical study for the purpose of writing almanacs. Banneker wrote his letter to Thomas Jefferson, then Secretary of State, and provided him with a handwritten copy of the manuscript for his almanac. This was significant because he was an educated free black man. Banneker wrote this letter to Jefferson in an appeal to ask for aid in changing the conditions for the black people and end slavery. He communicated this sentiment in his quote "you are measurable friendly, and well disposed towards us; and that you are willing and ready to lend your aid and assistance to our relief, ..." He reminds Jefferson of the time of British rule where "the arms and tyranny of the British crown were exerted... to reduce you to a state of servitude." The whites' servitude was extremely different and less degrading than that experienced by the blacks. This period influenced your writing of the Declaration of Independence which states in part "... all men are created equal." If that is the case, then the whites and blacks should be treated equally. Banneker worked hard on the almanac and proudly provided to Jefferson for his personal uses and consideration of the capabilities of black people.
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Ms. M
9/28/2014 05:37:26 pm
Add extra lines between paragraphs to improve readability on the blog. Give a little more analysis to quotes after you use them. Good final insight.
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Anthony doerfer
9/30/2014 02:10:28 am
You have good choice of quotes and a strong finish, you just need to support your quotes.
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Andrew A.
10/12/2014 12:03:30 am
You made some good points in your second paragraph and The sentence structure in the first paragraph is excellent. You do need more support for some of your quotes though.
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Evin P.
10/8/2014 04:56:15 am
There are many points made by Banneker in his letter to Jefferson. One of them is that they have been labored on for too long. Also they have been considered brutish then human. The African race in America has been groaning captivity and cruel oppression. He wants them all to be free not just the White Europeans. He also hopes to admit that the consequences of that report have reached him. He wants Jefferson to lend a “helping hand” to aid in relief and reprisal of all the tragedies. He cheerfully and freely admits he is of the African race, a race of the deepest dye. He wants Jefferson to act like he did during the revolution and free all the slaves in all his power. He supposes that Jefferson’s knowledge of the state of the Africans is too extensive to need a repeat. Banneker even quotes from the Declaration of Independence an article Jefferson wrote to hopefully strike a chord in Jefferson’s heart. All he wants is for Jefferson to do whatever he can in his power to free all Africans and he knows Jefferson can do it. He knows that Jefferson has seen the injustices of slavery and the horrors of its condition.
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Andrew A.
10/12/2014 12:02:00 am
You made some excellent points about your truths and the structure of your paragraphs.
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Andrew A.
10/12/2014 12:01:08 am
Banneker made many different points in his letter to Jefferson. Most of them tried to appeal to Jefferson's ethos and not his logic. He states things like "That we are a race of beings, who have long labored under the abuse and censure of the world;" This is him trying to appeal to Jefferson's emotions that the black part of the world have been under represented and even misinterpreted as he says "That e have been long considered rather as brutish than human" and says that they are considered "scarcely capable of mental endowments". Banneker's main points were that the black populations were not being represented correctly and was imploring on Jefferson's emotions to try and make it happen. He wants Jefferson to lend a "Helping hand" towards the African Americans and help them be as free as the rest of the whites that were there.He tries to use passages from Jefferson's own work in the Declaration of Independence to try and appeal to him. He also tries to prove to Jefferson that an African American can indeed be smart by sending him an almanac that he made to show that they can be smart and literate. He's hoping that sending him this letter and the almanac will make him want to help the African American plight with his influence.
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