Write a well-developed annotation, which includes proper MLA Works Cited, a discussion of the main points, and at least three quotes that are integrated into your discussion. 200 words. WFS 595-629.
47 Comments
Joshua K.
9/17/2014 12:45:02 am
In “Democracy in America”, an excerpt from Alexis de Tocqueville, begins by discussing two different types of patriotism to us. Whilst one discusses love, possible religious things, and pride, there is also another one. The other one is considered “less generous, less ardent perhaps, but more fruitful and endurable.” The writer appears to believe America is stuck in confusion between the two, and because the land is so new, they believe “it is scarcely possible for a patriotic instinct to exist”. The author came from France to observe America so clearly he believes his own country and possibly other European countries know about true patriotism and both kinds, whilst America is still stuck in the lingo, making it bad for foreigners. Later in there is also a description of how “America is therefore a land of liberty where, in order not to offend anyone, a foreigner must not speak freely about individuals or the state, the people or the government.” We can also see that the author wants people to make up their mind and change from the government to make sure everyone has true patriotism, instead of the government only working for a minority of the people.
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Ms. M
9/22/2014 01:24:58 am
Very thorough job of these. Note--the author is the writer. Add
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Sophia M
9/23/2014 07:52:31 pm
You did a really nice job with these annotations! Although you and I did not pull the same things out of certain exerts, I can see where you are coming from. Your use of the sources really helps support you interpretations.
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Torin C.
9/17/2014 01:34:44 am
Leo Tolstoy says that it is impossible for Patriotism and Peace to co exist in a nation. He compares it with "when one asks children which they choose of two incompatible but eagerly desired things, they will answer, 'Both'"(pg. 597). He also brings to light the situation in Venezuela when America and Britain nearly butted heads, both nations let out "patriotic; warlike cries"(pg. 597). Their pride for their nation almost made a conflict inevitable. Then to his exact point, or the key to the whole discussion that is, Tolstoy says "If the American desires the greatness and prosperity of the States before all nations, and the Englishman desires the same for his nation, and the Russian, Turk, Dutchman, Abyssinian, Venezuelan, Boer, Armenian, Pole, Czech, each have a similar desire; if all are convinced that these desires ought not to be concealed and suppressed, but, on the contrary, are something to be proud of, and to be encouraged in oneself and in others; and if one's country's greatness and prosperity can be obtained only at the expense of another, or at times of many other countries and nations, then how can war not be?" (pg. 598) Meaning that the more they rubbed it in the more the other countries will want a piece of them.
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Ms. M
9/22/2014 01:26:12 am
Good representation of the argument. Avoid "Meaning that" or "Author says" as sentence starters.
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Jessica G.
9/23/2014 03:17:40 am
You did a splendid job taking from the text and then evaluating Tolstoy's quotes and stand on Patriotism & Peace. I do feel, however, that most of your annotation is quotes and that you could have paraphrased more.
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Gabriel H.
9/24/2014 05:28:39 am
You did a good job at explaining what Tolstoy said, but i feel as if you could have explained your view a little bit more.
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Gabriel Housel
9/17/2014 05:13:00 am
Alexis de Tocqueville says that there are two kinds of patriotism, which he elaborates on in "Democracy in America". The first, he notes, is an unconditional love and sentiment to a country that one is born in. He does not appear to be fond of this kind of patriotism, and goes into detail about how it is unfounded and irrational. He even begins his talk of the next kind by saying " Another, more rational form of patriotism also exists...". He compares this unfounded patriotism to religious zealot-ism and and calls it an " reflective passion", which is because, while the people care greatly for their country, their country does not care about each and every one of them. He says that this form of patriotism is not good for the country, except in brief moments of crisis. " It is apt to save the state in time of crisis only to allow it to wither in time of peace.". The other form of patriotism, he notes, is more fruitful and durable, and is born of enlightenment. " It develops with the aid of laws, grows with the exercise of rights, and eventually comes to be bound up in a way with personal interest.". Overall, Tocqueville seems disinterested in patriotism more than anything, and speaks of it more as a scientist observing phenomenon or saying a lecture on history, and he even talks about how patriotism changes with history as customs and laws change.
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Joshua K.
9/17/2014 11:04:05 pm
I liked how you showed the main ideas of the others fluidly but also how you correctly entwined quotes from their texts to prove exactly what they meant. Since I also did these three authors, I would say that you did a great job on showing the main ideas from these various articles.
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Ms. M
9/22/2014 01:27:54 am
Clear representation of the argument. Avoid He says or the variation of this phrase. Go into the thesaurus and build up a list of more complex verbs to replace. Make sure that the citation reflects the Writing from Sources example.
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Jessica G.
9/23/2014 02:53:19 am
I definitely agree with your analysis of Irving Kristol's work. You did a great job on explaining his main ideals as well as connecting it to what patriotism is in the eyes of Kristol. We all have our own opinion and backgrounds when we approach the ideal of patriotism, but I'm glad you noted the fact Kristol was a neoconservative.
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Jesus Sarabia
9/17/2014 05:22:52 am
In "Democracy in America", the Author expresses that there are two types of Democracy: "The love of a man's birth place" which the author said was a moral and prideful love in which it makes the person live easier within that land. The second which he talks more in depth about is a "more rational form" of patriotism which consists of ideas, laws and rights. The author was trying to portray that this kind of patriotism "comes to be bound up in a way with personal interest" (595) where he also says that with this, most people are involved when it benefits the majority of the people.
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Torin C.
9/20/2014 09:37:07 pm
First off I think you spelled Tolstoy wrong. Second why is it impossible for patriotism and peace to co-exist? Thirdly is New Patriotism at war or is it having war with Terrorism, why is it a New Patriotism?
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Ms. M
9/22/2014 01:29:42 am
Note--Tolstoi/Tolstoy debate is based on him moving from Russia to England and changing the last letter with the move. Also, review how to cite from an Anthology. Add a few more quotes when you build your annotation and give more analysis to the quotes that you use.
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Erica B.
9/17/2014 10:35:12 pm
In “Democracy in America,” Tocqueville proposes a seemingly contradictory aspect to the term “patriotism.” He first identifies two varying types of patriotism, the first being an innate and instinctive love for one’s country. This love is, in a sense, a type of religion, for it does not reason, it believes and acts. Secondly, is the more rational form of patriotism. “It develops with the aid of laws, grows with the exercise of rights, and eventually comes to be bound up in a way with personal interest.” Tocqueville further explains this statement, identifying that Americans become so engrossed in the identity that their patriotic front depicts. They become hungry for praise and satisfaction as a result of their actions for the good of their country. As Tocqueville puts it, “He therefore identifies the public fortune with his own, and he works for the good of the state not only out of duty or pride but, I would almost venture to say, out of greed.” They begin to believe the identity of the nation is directly tied to their own personal identity. Through participation and interaction with one’s government, Americans begin to convince themselves of this concept. “Within his own sphere, each person takes an active part in the government of society.” Tocqueville ends with a proposition to his readers, stating we must choose the patriotism that is not for us, but for our country.
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Ms. M
9/22/2014 01:31:12 am
Clear representation of de Tocqueville's ideas. Work on the variety of your verb choices when framing his opinions. Perfect MLA!!!
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Natasha A.
9/24/2014 03:39:55 am
I found your annotations helpful when I was writing mine, just as a guideline. But I like how you captured his point and your choice of wording. Overall it was a great MLA.
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Jared C
9/17/2014 10:58:15 pm
Democracy in America
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Ms. M
9/23/2014 04:06:29 am
You have three points for de Tocqueville. Make sure to include the MLA Works Cited in order to practice this skill.
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Joshua K.
9/17/2014 11:05:14 pm
Your annotations did a good job expressing the main ideas of the texts, however it could be improved a little with larger quotes and perhaps the annotations being longer. Nonetheless, they were easy to read and made sense logically.
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Zach C.
9/17/2014 11:08:26 pm
In "Patriotism, or Peace," Leo Tolstoy argues that Patriotism is the chief cause of war. In order to support this argument, Tolstoy states: "when asked what they prefer, patriotism or peace, Christian nations reply with 'both.'" (Tolstoy, 597) Additionally, Tolstoy supports his argument by saying that the greatness and prosperity of one nation is gained at the ordeal of another. This is evident when Tolstoy states: "if the Russian, Turk, Dutchman, Armenian, Pole, and Czech each have a suppressed country, and if greatness and prosperity is gained at the expense of another, then how can war not be?" (Tolstoy, 598) Tolstoy continues with this argument, adding that in order to get rid of war, we must first eliminate it's roots: patriotism. After bringing this up, Tolstoy begins to reflect on the act of doing so, as he states: "...to destroy patriotism, it is first necessary to produce conviction that it is an evil, and that will indeed be no easy task." (Tolstoy, 599)
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Ms. M
9/23/2014 04:09:17 am
Good selection of quotes. Spend a little more time in the development of how they represent his argument and your judgment of his support.
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Erica B.
9/25/2014 11:08:05 pm
Great use of quotes to express the main points of the document. However, I did find your use of addressing "Tolstoy" a tad excessive.
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Shaina L.
9/18/2014 01:30:22 am
De Tocqueville, Alexis. “Democracy in America”. Writing from Sources. Comp. Brenda Spatt. Seventh ed. Boston: Bedford/St. Martins, 2007. 595-97. Print.
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Ms. M
9/23/2014 04:11:23 am
Nice representation of de Tocqueville's shifts. Work on developing an idea after the quote, rather than ending with author. Remember to add page numbers in () within the paragraph for quotes.
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Natasha A.
9/24/2014 03:50:08 am
I like how you wrapped up your annotations with his statement. Your annotations were really good. It was enjoyable to read.
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Torin C.
9/28/2014 06:50:46 am
It's an attention grabber, that's for sure, I especially like the second to last sentence.
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Frida Ø. L.
9/29/2014 05:17:58 am
I agree with what you said about Tocqueville's "Democracy in America," but perhaps you could have included one or two more quotes to demonstrate what you wrote. I also wrote about Tocqueville and discussed mostly the same things you have written about so we have a fairly similar view on Tocqueville and his written piece.
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Jessica G.
9/18/2014 03:06:53 am
Irving Kristol, an elder statesman and founding editor of the Public Interest, writes “Urban Civilization and It’s Discontents” to emphasize his view of America’s reliance in relation to government. He focuses his excerpt specifically on the two pillars America is based on. The first pillar was the “new science of government” that made popular government possible in a large heterogeneous republic. It relied heavily on “corrective checks and balances of the new political machinery to achieve convergence at a point of common wealth.” This machinery of government, according to Kristol consisted of a representative and limited government as well as the separation of powers and majority rules. The second pillar was “the willingness of the good democratic citizen, on critical occasions, to transcend the habitual pursuit of self interest and devote himself directly and disinterestedly to the common good.” Kristol claims this as the spiritual order envisaged by the founding fathers of America. Although under this impression, Kristol believes that this is the guideline for America to follow, it is also said that when the founding fathers created these situations, they assumed that holders of office would be white men of property. These pillars are the basic essentials for our standing on self-interest and urban civilizations but the origins prove that there were faults and judgment to their madness.
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Ms. M
9/23/2014 04:15:01 am
Nice variety of verb choices linked to author's ideas. Clear representation of his concepts. Remember to include page numbers in () when using quotes in the paragraph.
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Caitlyn H.
9/23/2014 06:09:29 am
You wrote a very clear and concise annotation of the text. I found that the explanation of the "pillars" made is far easier for me to comprehend. I do, unfortunately, agree with the Kristol when he says that the government is made up of a new "science of government" and the personal agenda. The personal agenda part is painfully true as many people only vote based on themselves and not the good of the nation as a whole.
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Erica B.
9/25/2014 11:14:45 pm
Your annotation was well put and easy to comprehend due to the fluidity when you shifted between ideas the author represented. Great coverage of the specific and significant points of Kristol's argument.
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Cole H
9/29/2014 06:43:19 am
I read the same passage and your annotation does a nice job of laying out the only things that were really important. There were some words that he used and you repeated that I would have tried to explain but other that that, solid job.
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Sophia M
9/18/2014 03:53:55 am
“Patriotism or Peace?” (1913)
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Ms. M
9/23/2014 04:17:35 am
Good representation of the re-education of nations that Tolstoy is advocating as a way to avoid war. Make sure you practice the MLA works cited format in terms of presentation of the article and using () for page numbers for quotes.
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Caitlyn H.
9/23/2014 05:57:57 am
Your annotation got straight to the point, which I liked very much. Also, you covered everything that Tolstoy mentioned in his writing, helping people to get a better understanding of the text if they haven't read it. I agree with Tolstoy when he says that there can only be one or the other with peace and patriotism. I think that there is a time for everything, including patriotism. Patriotism should only be used during times of national distress in order to unite the nation. People think that they are patriotic when they where the American colors on the Fourth of July but I think it is more of national support, not patriotism.
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Gabriel H.
9/24/2014 05:36:31 am
You did a really good job at annotating what Tolstoy said, and made it seem much more clear and straightforward.
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Logan H
9/18/2014 05:07:47 am
Logan Harless
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Ms. M
9/23/2014 04:19:37 am
Thanks for sharing all your examples. Strong representations of the arguments. A few minor MLA comments. Period in sentences goes after (). Also, make sure you cite the actual source you read, not where it was published first for your Works Cited.
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Frida Ø. L.
9/21/2014 05:40:14 am
In “Democracy in America,” Alexis de Tocqueville discusses the two different forms of patriotism that exist. He describes the first as: “… a love of country that stems primarily from the immediate, disinterested, and indefinable sentiment that ties a man’s heart to the place where he was born. This instinctive love is intimately connected to a liking for an ancient customs, respect for elders, and memory of the past.” This form of patriotism shouldn’t apply to the United States because they haven’t been a country for long. They don’t have ancient customs, respect for elders, or memory of the past because they’re such a new country. According to Tocqueville, the second form is less generous and is born of enlightenment. “In the United States, the common man has understood how the general prosperity affects his own happiness… what is more, he has become accustomed to looking upon that prosperity as his own handiwork. He therefore identifies the public fortune with his own, and he works for the good of the state not only out of duty or pride but, I would almost venture to say, out of greed.” What he means by this is the American is so included in everything his country does, and will therefore defend everything that is criticized about it because, “…it is not only his country that is attacked but himself.” Tocqueville continues by saying, “America is therefore a land of liberty where, in order not to offend anyone, a foreigner must not speak freely about individuals or the state, the people or the government, public or private enterprises, indeed about anything he finds there, except perhaps the climate and soil.” In this quote, he is saying how the Americans are so proud of their country to the level that they can’t receive any criticism about it.
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Ms. M
9/23/2014 04:23:00 am
Strong selection of quotes. Work on connecting a specific idea before/after the quote to avoid the "what he means by this"/"by saying" sets up only the quote rather than keeping the focus on concept.
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Cole H
9/29/2014 06:39:06 am
I think you understand what you read, but maybe you could go into it a bit more. It seemed like there were parts that could have been elaborated on a little more.
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Caitlyn H.
9/23/2014 05:50:18 am
Tocqueville, Alexis de. Democracy in America. Vol. 1. 1835. Trans. Arthur Goldhammer. New York: Penguin, 200.
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Ms. M
9/23/2014 04:20:02 pm
Good selection of quotes and nice integration. Working on shifting from phrases which sets up the author writing/arguing to a specific idea of the author before bringing in the quote. Two types of patriotism develop. Review MLA format for anthologies. You should be citing where you read the piece (Writing from Sources) not where the anthology took the material.
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Frida Ø. L.
9/29/2014 06:05:00 am
I liked the way you started your paragraph by saying that Tocqueville stated some people are "blindly patriotic towards their country," because it is their home. I agree with the points you make in your paragraph and I like the "no pain, no gain," argument that you end with.
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Natasha A.
9/24/2014 03:32:20 am
Alex de Tocqueville's "Democracy In America" discusses two types of patriotism. The first is more of a habitual patriotism. Americans become accustomed to their American lifestyle. They show affection to their country and the weighted history it carries. They are settled in their ways of how they live and are passionate about their country. The second definition takes a more serious tone. He says "patriotism is born of enlightenment." This refers to people who lose their patriotism and shift more toward the way of the politics and society. It and their own well-being. They are no longer emotionally attached to the country. They all partake in the American realm. He elaborates on foreigners who also make America their home and praises it just as an American. This would be okay but if they were to criticize the land Americans would take offense and have a rebuttal because foreigners shouldn't have a say in the way they live. Americans must settle on a choice whether patriotism is more important to them as a unit or more critical to themselves.
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Cole H
9/29/2014 06:30:05 am
Spatt, Brenda. "Urban Civilizations and Its Discontents." 1983. Writing from Sources. New York: St. Martin's, 1983. 610-11. Print.
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